Muppets and Accountability

Watching the Muppets movie recently brought back a wave of nostalgia and sentimental ideals that I never even realized I’d lost. It’s difficult to express the types of feelings that come with watching a movie that honors such a close memory as a show that you grew up with. A show that was more than just that; it was a teacher and a friend.

The Muppets wasn’t the only show like that to me. Mr. Rogers, Fraggle Rock, Looney Tunes, Wishbone, Bill Nye, and many other shows I grew up with made me who I am today. They all brought wonderful messages to my life. But lately the world has grown into a place that seems to suggest these old values are equivalent to non-existence.

Kermit started in on one of these ideas. It was a short speech that he never even got to finish the first sentence due to being interrupted. A friend of mine mentioned this scene in particular stuck with her because of what Kermit was starting to say. He mentioned something along the lines with how kids are smarter than what we give them credit for, and they deserve so much more respect. Think of many years ago. Kids used to work by the age of 7 or 8. Those growing up on farms were up at dawn and asleep by sunset every day. They found work, games, and ways to learn to fill their day. And in all honesty, these children were probably much healthier and balanced, and grew up feeling less entitled than recent generations. Today we coddle toddlers. They can’t go outside, hold anything sharp, or even learn how to get over falling down because their overbearing parents feel they must protect them from everything. By making a “child-safe” world, we’ve stripped away their childhood.

Respecting children is just a small part of what these shows displayed. They were also teachers for children. It was a “feel good” atmosphere, without being cheesy or thoughtless. These shows were clever, and enjoyable for adults (just like classic Disney movies) and not just for children. They never talked down to us when we were growing up. They encouraged learning, and being kind to others, and made us laugh.

They also instilled a sense of accountability. Part of a song in the new Muppets movie says ‎"You’ve got everything that you need – right in front of you. Nothing’s stopping you, nothing that you can’t do that the world can throw at you." People today have taken to blaming everything wrong in their life on anything they can that’s not themselves. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to remind family and friends that they are the only one responsible for making themselves happy. No other person, place or thing can give them the sort of happiness they deserve. You must allow yourself to be cheerful , and until you give yourself that permission, then you will remain in the sad, unfulfilled place you hate being in.

Seeing the Muppet movie reminded me of these old sentiments (and more). And I’ve been in a content way lately because of it. My problems haven’t disappeared, and I still have many hours of homework each night regardless, but I’m not drowning under a heavily growing weight of responsibilities. I’ve remembered what it feels like to be a kid. I’ll do my chores, but I don’t need to dwell on them all night and day. There are other, better things to do with my spare time.

I think sometimes we need a reminder of what used to be important to us. To me it was catching an episode of Barney, and then going out to our swing-set to work on sticking my landing when I jumped off from the highest height. It was listening to my Mickey Mouse cassette tapes and then seeing who could run down the hill the fastest. It was playing pretend with my stuffed animals, and then helping my Mom bake in the kitchen. And then riding my bike until I couldn’t stand up because my legs hurt.

My life never used to be about being so bored I wondered what was on TV, and then watched shows I didn’t care about for half the night. It wasn’t about living at a computer screen waiting for facebook to update. It wasn’t about reminding myself what I’m “supposed” to be eating. It wasn’t about lying awake at night for hours wondering if I’m doing the right thing with my life. And it wasn’t about being so frustrated at the end of every day that I need to blow steam with a walk around town just to be okay for another day. And your life shouldn’t be about your trivial problems either. It shouldn’t be a letdown, and we are the only one’s letting ourselves feel this way.

The Muppets movie wasn’t only great for its story, the acting, choreography, songs, cinematography, characters, or even for reviving a wonderful show. It was great for reminding us that when things get bad, like when Fozzy was working for a second rate casino in Reno, that we can take charge and make everything right. That when we don’t know who we are anymore (are you a man or a Muppet?), that only by looking inside can we find out. The Muppets movie was great because it reminded us of our youth and what once was important. And it reminded us of all those lessons we once learned and have forgotten over time. The movie was great because of what it brought with it.

And they brought it in a package that everyone can enjoy. 

Genius

Genius!

I was struck with a pretty novel idea tonight that may add a few years to a long-time pet's life. Lately our family has been discussing letting out 18 year old cat pass away due to poor health. She lived a legacy as an outdoor and indoor cat, and battled many foe's such as two german shepherds, three pugs, and many cats (and the chinchilla). She rules as Queen in our home for many years, and was a strong yet benevolent leader. She never struck first at the others, but always stood up for herself. We never feared for Rosie's health when it came to her versus any animal. She lived outdoors for many years until an unfortunate accident with my one cat, Doc Holiday. Rosie was moved inside, and lived the spoiled life as a fat house cat (and do I ever mean fat). But a few months ago, not long after her 18th birthday, Rosie became incontinent. She urinated in the most unwanted places (and let's face it, any where that is not her litter box is unwanted). We had one cat that consistently peed in our bathroom sinks, and was just a general menace, and so she was eventually given away. But Rosie has been with us for a lifetime, and is a year older than my younger brother. She was just as much one of us kids as anyone. So I took Rosie to the vet (the first time in many, many years) and had her examined. It was determined her problem was most likely psychological. Another cat, a terror of the household that with bite at anything within distance, was stressing our older cat and making her uncomfortable to use the litter box. We tried buying quite a few litter boxes (the logic was she would have more opportunity to make it to one, and could choose one not guarded by the half-feral cat in our home). When this didn't ease the problem, we moved a litter box to the upstairs bathroom and locked Rosie inside for a week. The knew plan of action was to have her own seperate box, in an area the other cat never came to (for at the time, the other cat would hardly even leave the basement) and give Rosie a private sanctuary. After the week in the bathroom, and accumulating her to the idea that she had a litter box in there, we let her out to wonder the household one more time. Not even a day passed and she was urinating and defacating in our living room. It became apparent that unless the litter box was at her side, she could not hold it and would use the restroom wherever she was at. Rosie has since been contained in our bathroom once again. And because I have been out of state for school, I was no longer able to actively work on the issue. Rosie has lived in the small bathroom for almost three months. I am visiting home for the holidays, and I saw the deterioration occuring. Rosie's muscles have completely atrophied from lack of use, the litter box is hardly cleaned, there is litter, puke and hairballs all over the floor, and a smell that may never go away. Rosie is living no life for a pet. And we have all come to this sad realization that her life is at it's end.
For days I've sat on this knowledge (and was dealt an even heavier blow when it was announced that our 12 year old pug, Bodi, may be at his as well). Bodi, I do not believe is near the problem. He cannot hold his waste for long, but will still make it outside if let out frequently. He has a head tilt (right ear down) that we've had the vet check probably four different time (more or less, I lost count). And when I came home I noticed his right eyelid drooping, and in further inspection I noticed the cataract growing, and dilated pupil. A quick test proved he can still see, but not well. He has lost most his hearing, which has been a gradual process for most his life. But Bodi still enjoys spending time with us and outside, and he will bark and chase things. He has trouble standing after sleeping, and gets clumsy at times, but he maintains a healthy weight and has regular movements. He's just an old dog that needs his rest, and still enjoys his life. I'm not willing to say he is at his end just yet. Rosie on the other hand once lived a fairly healthy lifestyle. She was a good weight, and would go up stairs and over baby gates until just a few months ago when we were forced to confine her. Now she is a shell of her former self. But I believe I've found the answer that does not involve ending her life. I make the suggestion we move her to the basement. Our basement is unfinished and is generally ruined from Rosie's progressive incontinence. We've cleaned it up, but the damage has been done. The smell is retained from years of keeping litter boxes down there, and piles of puke and hairballs still retain down there (what can I say, we don't go downstairs often). I suggest we section off a part of the basement that she can do the least amount of damage, and build an area that Rosie can actually move and exercise in. I also move we change her from a hard kibble to a soft canned-food diet. Perhaps ease her digestion, and provide her with something more rich in fat and protein to help her build up her muscles. She can hopefully recover, and live in a more expansive area, without ruining our bathroom (or making us listen to that awful wailing). Amissa, the half-feral cat that has wreaked havoc, can still use the basement with a seperate litter box (god knows that cat needs the basement to hide from the german shepherd after provoking her). We will see Rosie each day to feed her and change her water, and clean the litter box (we have to do the same for Amissa anyway). A heater may need to be placed in the basement to keep her warm, but as it is a fire risk, that idea will need to be scrutinized. I say we try this idea, at least for the two weeks of school I have left. If in the two weeks she does not improve, then I am out of ideas. But I want to give this one last try, for an old family friend.

Ignorant vs. Stupid

Ignorant vs. Stupid

I think it needs to be said. There is a vast difference between the words “ignorant” and “stupid” and we need to learn that. I don’t claim to be an acclaimed grammar/English professional or any such thing, and I make my fair share of mistakes. But misusing a word only propagates the degradation of the English dictionary, which by my guess probably involves some “chat speak” in it these days. Pretty soon “book” will be redefined to mean the same thing as “cool” due to the dreaded T9 app. But this does not excuse our current war against our established vocabulary that our unwilling-to-learn youth are pushing.

Let me start with stupid. Stupid has been in our word repertoire for many years now, and you may recall being a very young child and “stupid” was the biggest insult you could dish out. It grew into “retard” (although now politically incorrect), “moron”, “idiot”, “dumbass” and now suddenly we have it in our heads that “ignorant” is the next level of synonyms for “stupid” in the evolution line. College students throw the word around, sometimes paired with an old “stupid” replacement word, to make themselves feel smart. Oooh, I just used a big word, “ignorant”.

Except, the only thing ignorant going on is the misuse of this word. Dictionary.com defines “stupid” are a person who is “lacking intelligence or common sense”. Someone who is not educated, or unwilling to assess something and come to smart conclusions is and always will be considered “stupid”.

Ignorant is almost the opposite of stupid, I would say. Just as RENT says, the opposite of war isn’t peace, its creation. Well the same is true for the word stupid. The opposite of stupid isn’t smart, its ignorance. Being ignorant doesn’t mean you’re ill-informed, or just making a poor decision.

Ignorant means that person just doesn’t know.

A child learning how to spell may spell “knife” like without the “k” because they don’t know about the silent “kn” rule. They are ignorant about it. This doesn’t make the child stupid by any means.

Calling someone “ignorant” during an argument however makes you look like the ignorant one. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean they don’t know your side of the argument, they just disagree with you. In fact, they may be well-informed on your stance.

But when it comes down to it, calling someone names is as good as admitting defeat. To me, it’s the lowest form of debate, and means the person throwing around these words just doesn’t have anything significant to say anymore. They are throwing a tantrum, and by misusing such a common word as “ignorant” it only affirms to me that they can go no further in the argument.   

So save some face, and just lay off the word “ignorant” (and any other name calling tactics). Regardless of how “eloquent” your insult is, it is still an “ad hominem” in the end, which in general is a logical fallacy.  

A compilation of research

I’m pretty sure no one reads these things, because I probably piss most of you off with my “ignorance”. But I suppose this will help me gather about 2 years’ worth of research and resource.

I was looking into Buddhism because it’s always intrigued me. This site outlines the main similarities and differences between Buddhism and Christianity. Some of these parallels are a bit scary how alike they are, and I made a mental note that Buddhism has been around much longer than Christianity. So, food for thought. http://frimmin.com/faith/lotuscross.php

Just to have a bit more look into Buddhism I “thumbed” (or the digital equivalent) through the Dhammapada. I’ll post this in case anyone else would like to read it. (Click on “Buddharakkhita” for the english translations for Buddhists) http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/index.html

This is a book posted online that I’m still reading, but it scrutinized the Mormon Church from beginning to end in every detail, and outlines the corruption, changes, fallacies and all else in the religion’s history and ‘holy books’ and brings them to light. They do a spectacular job of checking everything against the Mormon Church’s own word on the subject (I mention this because I know a few Mormons who are mad if their church hasn’t been able to ‘rebuttal’ something). Here’s from the first chapter:

                “The Mormon Apostle Orson Pratt said that if the Mormon religion had errors in it the members would be grateful if someone would point them out: ". . . convince us of our errors of doctrine, if we have any, by reason, by logical arguments, or by the word of God, and we will be ever grateful for the information, and you will ever have the pleasing reflection that you have been instruments in the hands of God of redeeming your fellow beings from the darkness which you may see enveloping their minds" (The Seer, pp. 15-16). After making a long and careful study of the Book of Mormon and the history of the Mormon church, we have come to the conclusion that the claims made by the Mormon church leaders are false. In this book we will present some of the evidence which has led to this conclusion, in the hope that Mormons will be grateful for the information.”

                                -http://utlm.org/onlinebooks/changecontents.htm

This is the case of the Smithsonian Institute rejecting pressure from the Mormon Church to use the Book of Mormon as a scientific guide. After a while the Smithsonian got tired of all the drama and instead of trying to give reasons of why they would not regard it as scientific guide, they just send out short letters of “it’s a religious document, so no” these days. http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/smithsonian.shtml

This site I find rather petty, honestly. They just nitpick over the bible. The bigger picture they are trying to push is that if the bible can’t be right in even small facts, how can we expect it to be right in big aspects? They argue about rabbits having hoofs and chewing cud, and some discrepancies within the bible itself. I’m only posting this one because of my favorite failed prophecy: 2 Samuel 7:10-11 (also see: 1 Chronicles 17:9-10). http://www.coppit.org/god/contradictions.php#Unfulfilled

Going back to Mormons, this one disputes Joseph Smith’s “translation” of an Egyptian hieroglyphic. It even states that Mormon Church recognizes this mistake, yet still thinks nothing of it, despite the fact that the whole Book of Mormon was supposedly translated by Joseph Smith from “reformed Egyptian”. http://vintage.aomin.org/Mintract.html

This video series just argues the Book of Mormon against the Bible and how they are incompatible. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYiOc2g0SEE&feature=related

This next one is important to me. I remember arguing with some friends about whether or not Joseph Smith used a seer stone, and we argued if he was translating from looking inside a hat (they claimed that part was made up by South Park). Well: 

“Joseph Smith would put the seer stone into a hat, and put his face in the hat, drawing it closely around his face to exclude the light; and in the darkness the spiritual light would shine. A piece of something resembling parchment would appear, and on that appeared the writing. One character at a time would appear, and under it was the interpretation in English. Brother Joseph would read off the English to Oliver Cowdery, who was his principal scribe, and when it was written down and repeated to Brother Joseph to see if it was correct, then it would disappear, and another character with the interpretation would appear. Thus the Book of Mormon was translated by the gift and power of God, and not by any power of man.” (David Whitmer, An Address to All Believers in Christ, Richmond, Mo.: n.p., 1887, p. 12.) http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1993.htm/ensign%20july%201993.htm/a%20treasured%20testament.htm

This is an all around fun site debunking Christianity in general: http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/god6.htm

I read all the “chapters” and this just leads to the last one I had bookmarked, so feel free to just surf around. There’s nothing specifically amazing about that particular chapter. They are all generally awesome.

This is a sister site to the last one; also same story with the particular placement of my bookmark: http://godisimaginary.com/i51.htm

And finally here’s the American Atheists organization’s website: http://www.atheists.org/events/National_Convention

Keep in mind a good deal of my bookmarks were ‘lost’ due to now broken links or dead websites. And this is just a small portion of hundreds of sites I’ll read, these are namely just ones I decided to save for a later date for one reason or another. It is by no means a limited or comprehensive list of all the places I’ve read through. 

Motorcycles

Some things you probably didn’t know about motorcycles.

Motorcycles are seen as fun, death-defying vehicles only a select few seem to have the kahunas (or as some like to assert, the mere ability) to operate. But there’s a lot of misconceptions and downright ignorance that comes with people’s perceptions of motorcyclists and their rides.

One such thing is: riding a motorcycle on a hot day is nothing like riding a convertible. Imagine its stifling hot outside and you hop in your car with the roof folded down and a/c turned on. Between the wind and the cold air from the vents, it’s pleasant and a fun way to cool off (and look cool too). Now imagine jumping on a motorcycle. You wear a helmet because, hey, you’re a responsible driver (and you can’t trust other people on the road anyway) and you take off. The hot air seems to just push against you, rather than pulling off sweat. And each time you stop the motorcycle beneath you radiates heat from the seat because most motorcycles don’t actually have a fan to cool off the engine. Your bike depends on being in motion to cool down. By the end of the ride the inside of your helmet is sticky from sweat, your butt feels roasted, and you feel like you just have a fever in general. It’s not really a good way to cool off, in retrospect.

Another problem motorcyclists face is our rearview mirrors. Those stupid things can rotate just about anywhere (as they are mounted on a ball and socket type joint) and getting them juuuust right is a headache. I’m often trying to adjust them either while riding or when stopped (as I only have one hand free during each activity) and even if I get them right they get bumped later that day and need to be fixed again. I would adjust them before I ride, but having a sport bike I tend to be in a different position when I’m just sitting on my bike than when I’m in motion. And let’s say I’m lucky and actually do have them in the right place – I still can’t see behind me unless I move my elbows.

So normally I just trust my eyes over my mirrors, and swivel my head around like a top. I don’t have any windows or frames to look past, so it’s actually pretty darn effective.

Another thing that drives me crazy is people don’t seem to realize the traction I have with the road is maybe two inches wide. If I need to slam on my brakes, it’s going to take me just as long, if not longer, than a car to actually get stopped. I also have a process I must complete before I can ever even apply the brake. Pull clutch, let go of throttle, and then pull both the hand and push the foot brakes. And then normally either my front or back wheel will start to snake. It’s scary, and I don’t like doing it. So stop cutting me off, cages.

The lack of traction also means I can’t handle gravel. At all. There’s a parking lot at a building off-campus that is completely gravel, and every time I’m on it (normally going an astounding 5 mph, the minimum I can achieve without toppling over) I still skid around like ice on ice.

But a cool part about being a motorcyclist is the camaraderie. Bikers will wave to each other in passing. It’s not like a normal hand in the air and frantically whipping our wrist around. The “wave” is more of a flag where you stick your arm, or finger, out straight while passing the other rider on the road. It’s always the left arm, and we don’t wave perpetually at each other. It’s really a rather short process. I’m not turning, or merging, or being a dick. But it confuses the living hell out of cages, and I find it hilarious.

As a side note: just because you and I are both at the stoplight does not automatically mean I want to race you. I know I can win, which is enough for me, considering I’m on a bright green motorcycle and the cops in town are ticket-happy. So save yourself the fine, because I’m not going to gun it off the line because you revved your engine. This is why I don’t look over at you. And when I salute you, it’s not a “hat’s off” signal. It is a “enjoy the speeding ticket” signal. And trust me; every time someone has tried to race me, they get pulled over. Just don’t do it.

And this is call of attention to those who actually have bikes (or would consider getting one): wear your helmet, and don’t leave it out on your bike. UV rays from the sun will destroy the foam in your helmet, and I can’t count how many people I’ve heard of that crash and realize they’ve been wearing nothing but an eggshell on their head (this is also a very good reason to never buy a used helmet). And it is inevitable that you will crash, so just wear the god damn thing. It’s not even a big deal. If you think it’s too hot outside to wear it, then you don’t need to be riding anyway.

Driver Safety

Driver Safety

It feels like since the accident two and half weeks ago where my roommate was hit by a car that our apartment has heard nothing but constant berating from strangers on pedestrian safety. I’m here to shed a little light on the situation.

My roommate, Jen, left our apartment around 7:45 am.  There’s a popular crosswalk just in front of our apartment, with large flashing beacons that you activate via button each time you cross. Ironically, I even witnessed some workers repaint the crosswalk not a week beforehand. Jen, being conscious of the terrible drivers in our college town, hit the button and checked to her left (with the immediate traffic approaching) and saw it was clear and continued across the road. No cell phone (as one old man tried to accuse her of when he asked about her injuries at an Arby’s), no mp3 player, nothing distracting at all. Jen made it halfway across the street before she saw someone on her right who was not braking (we believe the car had pulled out of the parking lot across the street and that is why Jen  did not see her earlier). The car did not brake nor swerve, and Jen hopped a bit backwards to try and get out of the way. Unfortunately, she wasn’t in time and was hit.

Later, in the police report, the driver said her window was “foggy with dust” (what does that mean?) and didn’t see Jen until she was rolling off the side of her car (even though Jen smashed her entire windshield). Jen will have large scars on her elbow, permanent nerve damage in her knee, and a fear of that crosswalk from now on. The driver never came by to apologize, check on Jen, or any such thing. We haven’t heard from her since that day.

The car flew straight through a normally crowded crosswalk. She didn’t take the time to stop a second and wipe off her windshield. She didn’t check for any lights flashing. There’s even talk she may have been on her phone (texting or otherwise) but this is speculation (witnesses saw her get out of her car with phone in hand). Regardless of what may have been happening in her head, there were many precautions she could have taken to prevent this accident.

When we went to the hospital the nurse immediately tells us how angry she is that pedestrians aren’t safer on the streets (and regales to us how she almost hit some boys on their bikes). The officer writing the report came in for Jen’s statement, then came out to us in the waiting room and told us of a drunken lady walking on a highway who is likely to die soon from a car accident. And he adds defense to why the police in the area have been ticketing jaywalkers, reminding us to be safer crossing the street. We had people stopping by who believed Jen must have been just as at fault as the driver, until they heard the story. The old man at Arby’s asked Jen about her crutches and when she told him about the accident he says, “Did you look both ways?” which Jen responded “Yes.” Then he makes a motion of holding a phone to his ear and says “Were you looking like this?” I walked over and gave him a snarl, and so he finally stepped away from Jen who was a bit flustered that he would assume such stupidity of her. 

And, finally, the big hit to the face was the University newspaper writing about Jen’s accident to promote pedestrian safety. The writer even states he “doesn’t know who is at fault” and it “doesn’t matter”. If it truly didn’t matter, he wouldn’t be assuming Jen was at fault. He wouldn’t have written an entire article about the incident and other ones like it just to push pedestrian safety. He never spoke to Jen, and never had his facts straight. It was the most irresponsible news reporting I’d ever seen. For him to use this accident as a staple of pedestrians being unsafe is a huge insult to Jen, who couldn’t have done much more than she had to keep herself safe.

So I want to make a new suggestion here that may seem crazy but I think it needs to be said. Maybe, now keep with me here, just maybe drivers need to do a little more to be safe in this town. In driver’s ed. we’re taught to do some “pre-flight” checks if you will. Mirrors, windows, seats – they all need to be in their right place and clear. My van at home often gets dirty on the windshield, but I keep a rag in my car to wipe it down. I always make sure I can see before I take off. I’ll be late because I’m waiting for windows to defrost, but hey, I didn’t hit anybody on my way there. I always figure that’s a fair trade off. And understanding the rules of the road is a big thing that seems to be glossed over here in town. Four-way stops never seem to operate how they should in this town, and no one seems to care if they are passing by a busy crosswalk. The town has even lowered speed limits all across the town limits just because so many drivers don’t look. So, you know, hopefully the pedestrians now have time to look.

I seem to be one of very few people on the road that cares that there are others driving. I look two cars in front of me, which will help me brake faster if that car should slam on its brakes. I’m always watching the people next to me and behind me. Sometimes the guy next to me can’t see me, and sometimes the guy behind me is tailgating. Pumping brake lights gently will sometimes warn them to back off, but if not, I’ll move behind him. But maybe I’m a bit too cautious, because you see, I’m on a motorcycle. If I’m in an accident, odds are I will die.

But maybe that’s how we should all be driving. Because we all are gambling with each other’s lives each time check the radio, or don’t wipe our windshield, or aren’t sitting up straight (and can’t reach the brake very well). When we don’t take the time to be a bit more cautious, then we get into the situations where it’s the “other persons fault”. Like the pedestrians.

But one day you will be the “other person”.  Or your child. Or your sibling.

So for once in your life act like you’re the responsible one on the road, and you are the one that needs to look out for others and not just for yourself. 

The Circular Argument

If I were to come to you and say “I found this seed. The label said it was a money tree seed. If we plant it, the branches will bear cash, rather than fruit!” You would immediately use your suspicion, skepticism, and general ability to doubt any wild claim brought to you. We’ve all encountered it. On everyday commercials someone makes a wild claim, saying this herb will cure that disease, or this item has this effect on the body.

So your natural reaction would to ask something like, “I don’t think it’ll grow money. Why would you believe that?”

Now, here’s the baffling part. Your innocent healthy dose of reservation has sent that person into the offense. You have questioned their word! Their mind! Their ability to know something!  And so they argue. But they have a poorly constructed argument.

“Because the label said it would!”

The label said it would grow money, and it will grow money, because it said so on the label. It’s a circular argument, one that no sane person would ever accept. Until we throw a twist in to the mix.

Now it’s a new argument. Same principle, and we’ll see if you catch it.

“The bible is written by God!”

“I don’t think it is. Why would you believe that?”

“Because God said he wrote it. And what God writes is true!”

The bible is true, because it says it’s written by God, and what God writes is true, and so the bible is true.

Some people cannot even conceive that this is a circular argument, making no more evidence for itself than the money tree seed. If I want to prove some statistics are correct, I do research in fields outside those statistics. Citing the statistics are correct because they said they are is not a valid argument. The fragile “god wrote it” argument is so brittle because they have not given evidence from outside the bible that it could be true. And if even one part of that line can be shown to be false, then the whole thing crumbles. If the bible was not written by God, then it is not perfect, and is not true. If the bible is not true, then it was not written by God. If what God writes is false, then the bible is false. Any one of these scenarios breaks the world that is a religion’s foundation.

But we need to recognize these sorts of fallacies, which brings us back to the first thing we did. We used our doubt. Hesitation is not an evil spawn of Satan – it is how we as a species have survived. To this day, we tell our children “Do not believe someone if they say they have something good or fun in their car,” we are asking our children to use skepticism to protect themselves. Even as adults we must use this skill to avoid scams and rip-offs. We know that magnets don’t balance our chi, or that you can suck out toxins through the bottom of your feet. Everyday our ability to doubt fantastic claims (such as previously mentioned commercials) keeps us sharp.

So why in the world would you turn off this ability with some things, especially something that is supposed to be as important as a religion? Or worse yet, why would you want to be a part of something that would tell you to turn it off? If your religion tells you that having reservations is the devil in your ear, or that if you’re having conflicts with facts or morals of your religion to just ignore it; that should be a red flag to get the hell out of there. This is a belief system that is supposed to influence your everyday life and decisions, and is supposed to tell you what the afterlife (and in some religions, prelife) was/is like. If they can’t answer important and difficult questions (and I mean, full and satisfying answers) then you may need to rethink if you have fallen for another scam, or worthless effort.

How much money have you pumped in to your church?

Let me backtrack and clarify “full and satisfying answers”. I’ve asked many religious people, religious leaders, and other people in general some hard questions about a belief system. In my experience they sometimes do have answers to some of my inquiries. But most of the time I get answers that involve long stories that never actually tackle the question at hand, or I’m told to pray about it (I take that as, “go make up an answer”). Don’t get me wrong, if they give me the round-about answer option, I always ask the question again. “So why did God endorse slavery before? You only told me about Martin Luther King. I’m not sure how that correlates here.”  They normally give me an exasperated look, like I just missed the plane over head.  If I had to ask, then I couldn’t conceive an answer myself, so believe it or not – but I do want you to spell it out for me. You’re not Jesus, so please stop attempting parables. You really suck at it. Give me an answer and explanation if you will, not a story that you hope answers my question in some far-off way.

Lack of satisfying answers keeps me away from religions. I often joke that I am the queen of bullshitting. I can write enormously long papers when all the while I’m really saying nothing. It is a handy skill when the teacher is more concerned about length than quality, but it gives me a stunning ability to recognize bullshit when I see it. And you wouldn’t believe how many people talk out of their ass.

I once wrote a very long note in my facebook about historical facts versus the bible. Maybe one day I’ll post it here, but my point is that throughout that loosely written impromptu paper, I sourced just about EVERYTHING I had to say. I even quoted bible verses, and some general Christian leaders. I did my homework, and my facts came from everywhere. I’ve always had a fundamental problem with “praying to God if you are doubting the existence of God” solutions. You don’t ask your church about history lessons any more than you would ask your math professor how to paint (if someone points out that their math professor is an artist I swear… just get the point I’m making). Research what historians say about history, and then you can check that against what your church said had happened. Treat the historians as the accurate source, not your religion.

I have to say though, the whole concept of “proving” religions irks me slightly. In the scientific community, we find facts and then we draw conclusions. In that order. Any instances to the contrary in our past have ended in disaster. To use an old elementary school story: Newton had the fact that the apple fell, then he drew the conclusion of gravity.

Religion on the other hand has this nasty habit of trying to find facts to support their conclusion. They figure the same principle works, but honestly it is only going to end in disaster – I guarantee you.

As Bill Maher said, “Doubt is humble, and that's what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong.”

Maternal Fix

I’ve always had the remarkable ability to remain stone-faced in the event of a mass apocalypse, but this past week it’s been like my brain decided to take a shit break and leave me blubbering like an idiot who can’t remember where her glasses are.

(They’re on my face)

Let’s just say this week has been running off the bi-polar charts (from normal to it’s the gogdamn second coming). First off, the weather has just been a dick. It’s been raining on and off every twenty minutes, and I just can’t take it anymore. My psyche is cracking under the tension of never knowing if I’ll be buried under snow in ten minutes, or broiling alive. And it makes predicting when I can and cannot ride my motorcycle a living nightmare. And worse still when I predict wrong.

Rain hurts. A lot.

Then my classes were taking a cue from the weather and go just as crazy, if not more. The main culprit was my Agriculture Accounting class. Now let me tell you something, the boredom that ensues from this class is so overwhelming that just thinking about it puts me in a state of drooling stupor. My brain just simply cannot function fully when faced with words like “variation equity”. I have a theory that accountants are really a working class of ants that disguises themselves as a human with the sole purpose of creating a brain tumor in the shape of a calculator. (That’s how they get us)

I had a mental break-down in the middle of this normally stupefying class when two hours (on top of an already four hour invested work load) magically disappeared off my USB. IT’S MAGIC. TA-DA. Watch the magic tears magically sprout from my magic face. MAGIC.

Soon as I got my wits about me, and I redid the entire thing, our professor’s wife came in toting donuts. It was like fate was rewarding me for regressing into an elementary school state of mind. Life’s just not fair, I just want to go out to recess, and computer magic is screwing everything up! Now shut up and eat a donut.

So I did.

I then came home and found the incredibly cheap book I’d purchased came in. A-Z of Canine Diseases and Health Problems. It’s like a handy dandy Merck Manual quick reference. (Excuse me, my nerd is showing). This thing made my day, it was like Christmas came early in the form of $4. Yesssss.

But then the final straw happened. All these little frustration had built up over the week, so little in fact that I don’t even recall ANY of them, but they were most definitely there. And finally my package from my mother arrived. I had recently updated my computer to Windows 7 (I’m so hip), but unfortunately I needed to redownload pretty much all of my programs, including Photoshop CS3. And so mom shipped it to me.

Well, to her benefit, photosmart and photoshop do sound a lot alike.

I wasn’t even particularly upset over not having photoshop. I’m an adult, I kept telling myself, and it’s just a program. Inform mom and she’ll send it right away. Not even a deal.

But for some reason, I was just completely devastated, and incredibly inconsolable. The whole week exploded from my eyes like a sprinkler system, and I didn’t even have one thought to grasp on to that could explain my sudden depression. So I did what any other girl in college would do. Turned my pillow into a giant Kleenex and when I calmed down into a hiccupping mess I called my mother and started again.

If I believed in God, I’d tell you now that Mothers were the most perfect thing ever made by this God, and everything else was just by-product. Within just a few minutes she had me calmed, okay with my week, and feeling better than I had in almost a month. The stew of rage that had been bubbling in the recesses of my mind had been drained in an instant.

Why the hell was I crying? Man, I felt stupid. I’m pretty sure my mom has a “make daughter sane” button she just has to reboot every so often, and only she has the ability to do it.

Misconceptions of Agriculture

Perhaps I've gained a sense of loyalty after working with farmers, ranchers and agriculture in general for several years now, but I feel like a few things need to be said. 

It's a really complicated idea, trying to be humane while still running or buying any livestock for food. I'm an enormous advocate of humane treatment of animals, but let me try and lay out the details in a nice summary:

I am a pre-veterinarian major at a university highly involved in Agribusiness. Most of my classes deal with beef and dairy cattle, sheep, goats, and even horses. When farmer's run their business, they are making "business" decisions. If a cow breaks out with BVD, he'll treat, but now that cow cannot be sold for meat for a full month. Normally this isn't a problem, but some treatments that would be better for the cow would mean the cow has "tainted" meat or milk and and product can never be sold. (Same is true of other livestock animals sold for meat). As a business decision, it can never be done. These just aren't family pets, they are the income and lively hood of these people.

BUT keep in mind, a smart and GOOD farmer will run his business humanely. If his animals are low stress, fed high quality and always healthy (i.e. large amount of space and social interaction with other animals) they yield more weight gain, thrive better and tend to taste better overall. Nutritional needs are evaluated every month, and vets are constantly called in if the slightest sniffle is made. It's just good business.

And as a side point, heifers need to be milked. If given the choice, they will walk into a machine several times a day just to be milked. Any mother will tell you how painful it is if that milk just sat there. (I make this point for some people won't drink milk saying it's inhumane in some way.)

I won't get into slaughter houses, but I do know the good ones are done with pressurized bullets. Animal comes in, and next thing it knows it's dead. Never feels pain, or sees it coming. Running the animals through the shute can be stressful if done incorrectly.

A lot of organizations come around farms and wait for days just to snapshot something "cruel" and twist the context of what was happening. Cruel organizations producing livestock aren't as frequent as they are made out to be, because its just poor business to run a company like that at all. Their profit margin is low, and they are weeded out fast. There are regulations in place for farms, and ones ran inhumanely are shut down fairly quickly.

Agriculture takes the brunt end of a lot of misdirected anger. Slaughter houses are not run by farms, silages put off 10x more methane than cows, and good farmers really are looking out for the best for their animals and their families. I'm not saying bad things never happen, but more often than not it's a weighed business decision to send the calf to slaughter, or perhaps they were ignorant and did not know a certain strand of virus was in town. They lost their whole operation, and it's not like they are happy. They WANT their animals healthy.

Now, cruelty to pets or horses (which are considered companion animals more and more) is never tolerated in my mind. There is no justification for it, and should not be forgiven. 

Need some quiet time

I don't know if I just have a headache from so much school work or what, but my patience has been run thin. I'm still trying to figure out some social situations, and I feel like the more I think about it the more disconnected I get.

In the past I've been defensive, and paranoid about what people's intentions are, and while that may have worked in middle school where everyone is rude, snarky and intentionally rude, that way of being became inefficient early in high school. So I moved on to ignoring most everyone, and felt like a point of gossip and ridicule for most people. Late in high school and during my SCC years I switched it up to laid back. This was by far the most pleasant experience I've ever had, but I felt rather blasé about social interactions, and wasn't connecting with anyone.

There must be a balance between emotional attachment and disinterest in the ignorant while feeling a part of the group without being hurt over stupid things being said or done.

Today I looked out the window of my Ag Accounting class and was slightly blinded by the snow covered mountains and it struck me.

The past two weeks I've struggled to look at the stars, to the point of longingly watching the glow-in-the-dark stars on our ceiling with reverence. I breathe in deep on my motorcycle in the outskirts of the town, smelling the farmland and country air. I lingered outside school buildings when it began sprinkling, and sat in silence listening to the fountain in our apartment with a sort of meditation mindset. 

I've been craving nature. Balance and peace of mind. I've been struggling to handle my own emotions and moods, my energy and my mind by overthinking solutions. When all along my body knew exactly what I needed. I need some outdoor activity. I need to go and find peace with myself by not focusing on myself.

I need a hammock in my chaotic life. 

Education at its finest

As some of you know, school has started this week. I've gone through the headache of attending all of my classes at least once, and all I have to say is I will miss spending all my time at the livestock center (however 2/5 classes are there this semester). 

I jumped into Feeds & Nutrition and skipped taking the college algebra and chemistry requirements. I understand chemistry pretty well, considering I've never had a formal education in it, and let's face it - if you can't do algebra, you're an idiot. But it seems like I may be usurped in this decision, for today I will be talking to Dr. Waddoups about going on the graduate school. 

I feel I'm standing at the fork in the road of my life. I've narrowed what I want to do to two options, and I'm having a hard time figuring out if I should choose Brain Path: Veterinary School, or Heart Path: Animal Behavior Doctorate. I've always love animals, and the two subjects I most definitely excel at are animal behavior/handling, and anatomy/physiology. 

My father has always had a love of psychology, and understanding why people do what they do. I think this curiousness has rubbed off on me. Except I love understanding the creatures not speaking to me. It's a bit more of a challenge, and is quickly becoming a more advanced field. We're grasping intangible concepts such as energy, which I describe as body language meets intention. Cesar Millan describes it as your state of being at all times. Are you calm? Are you acting like a leader? Are you frustrated? That's your energy, and your dog reads it all the time. That's what makes them so unique when communicating with us.

Speaking of Cesar, I'm reading "Cesar's Rules" at the moment, and this last chapter I read last night struck a chord with me. I've worked very hard at making Apollo balanced and submission. He's not perfect, he still snaps at Addea, barks at the neighbor's dogs, and gets too excited about certain subjects (i.e. food). But he listens to me at all times, he's very submissive on walks, and understands correction very quickly (oh, I shouldn't jump on you when you're feeding me). But Cesar was regaling a visit with Dr. Ian Dunbar, and how all tricks needed an end. I've always used my energy to release Apollo from a trick, but it's never consistently worked. I've never trained him that after the "sit" trick, there should be a "stand" trick. I felt a humongous "DUH" moment when reading that. Why had I never done that? 

Another important thing Cesar talks about is off leash training. I've never been confident in letting Apollo off leash outside an enclosed area, partly because of my fear that one day he may take off running. He's never shown any indication that he would do this, and I feel like a fool going against my own wisdom (whatever you believe will happen, will) but I think if Apollo's recall or "sit" command was more reliable, I would feel better. Apollo has a bad problem of just looking at me when I tell him to come. I have the bad habit of asking nicely (meekly) and have to work my way up to a commanding "Apollo, come!" until he listens. He always waits for me to be a leader, and I kick myself for not being that at the beginning. 

Another problem I've worked with over the years is asking him to be quiet and calm when a guest arrives. He barks, and jumps, and I've never been consistent with correcting that. One of my main problems is our family has sanctioned off our kitchen and living room as dog zones. It's hard to answer the door and correct the dogs at the same time when we are in separate rooms. It would be nice to place a sign on the door "Dogs in training, please be patient. The door will be answered shortly" Maybe even a "Be calm when entering this house! Don't look, don't touch and no eye contact with dogs!" People may get the wrong idea, our dogs are not aggressive in any way, but if they were in a calm state of mind when entering the house, it helps take away excited energy and makes training the dogs that much easier. The signs would be temporary, because I don't expect everyone who enters our house to conform to an energy that is not natural to them. 

Anyway, these are just some thought I had this morning, and I'm glad to get them off my chest. There's really no use in thinking about what I can do with Apollo right now, he's half the country away. But it's good to have a game plan!

Facebook; All Book No Face

Everyone makes fun of Facebook for being a perfect stalking tool, and while its funny to joke about - in retrospect it is. You can see where people have been in their photos, what they've been doing and how they feel in their statuses, and often what kind of person they are because of those ridiculous quizzes (assuming, of course, that you take those seriously). But who said this was a bad thing?
I'm definitely a bit of a ghost on facebook as far as social interactions through it is concerned. There's a tight-knit group who I chat with almost constantly online, but beyond that I'm more interested in the informal "I'll check your wall to see whats up" rather than talk to you. Which comes in handy. I do have people ask me, "Have you heard from so-and-so?" "Why yes, so-and-so's going to a concert tonight!" Have I spoken to this person recently? Not in months! But I still feel a sense of connection, like the friendship was never really lost, because I am still aware of you and what's going on with your life - which believe it or not I do find interesting.
I make it a point to read through my wall every day down until the last post I read from the day before (which often is mine, because I have a terrible tendency to post at 4 in the morning). I may not have the time nor interest to reply to everything I read, but I get to check up on people I care about.
Which brings me to my next point - I don't friend people unless I truly want to hear from them. And because I only want to hear from people who I am actually friends with (not just any random joe), my friend list is actually at a mere 71 people. (It was at 69, which I found hilarious, for a very long time).
However, this doesn't mean I friend everyone who I know personally. There are some people you can put up with in real life, but online there seems little purpose. If you update your status over 3 times a day, chances are I will unfriend you (although I've taken to merely banishing any posts from you from my port lately - it seems less harsh). Also, if I think how I present myself through facebook may be offensive to you in a way I know you will be constantly berating me for, I will not friend you. My online self is more brazen without the confrontation of a physical being standing me down. But sometimes I make an offhand comment without much thought - but I don't particularly wish to be lectured for voicing my opinion sometimes.
And that's what it boils down to. The internet is for voicing opinion (the social side of it).

This rant isn't really stemming from anything, I just thought it might be nice to explain why I don't have a million friends, and why I don't friend some of the people who request it. Just a rant, in the end.

Gears A-Turning

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and oddly with my time in Missouri growing shorter I seem to be becoming calmer. There was a time in my life where I'd managed to find a sort of inner peace. I felt okay with myself, with the world. It was that feeling you find when listening to rain, or sitting in a field far from the city. Staring into starry space, and when you watch someone you love sleep. Listening to truly touching classical music, or the feeling you have after a particularly moving film. That state - that moment in time is what I strive for in my life. That is what "calm and assertive" means to me. 

But I have a chronic problem that had plagued my life. I'm still trying to figure this out. I have overwhelming feelings of guilt. And it comes without precedence. For example, I've learned to ride horses this past year. Yet when I think of this, I have an inexplicable feeling of guilt bubbling up in my thoughts. All my life there has been this emotion that resembles regret, remorse, or even shame that seems to grow from no where. I've come to question if it is merely a mis-labeled emotion. It feels similar to guilt, but it has no business showing up when it does. 

I've finally overcome this recent guilt trip that has infested my mind for the past month. I've done nothing to warrant the feeling, I assure you, and I am relieved to be rid of it once more. 

That aside, something else I've been mulling over in my mind is marriage. I think marriage has been made into a mandatory tradition in some households - and has become something of a golden idol to worship. It's exalted and revered as the ultimate goal for any go-getter young adult. But I think we are coming to a new horizon where we may need to re-evaluate our priorities. Do we really need to be mass producing in this world struggling to contain us, let alone provide for us? 

But let's say you do decide to marry. You found one who is your perfect match, and love the idea of a recognized bond and commitment to them. I pose a question that many cannot seem to understand (let alone consider): what is your rush? Why must you be married right now? If a lifetime with your other is what you strive for, why would you need to mess up the most romantic part of your life by making it go too quickly? Why would you ruin it with hectic chaos that is the constraint of time, when in the end - time is all you will have? I suppose, being one without religious obligations (about, say, premarital sex) I just don't see the wisdom in making the best months (or years) of your life one big racetrack.   

We seem to be stuck in a rut of "tradition". "Our parents lived this way, and so did theirs. They did just fine - so why change it?" Advancement, making large jumps and changes seems to frighten people. This chronic "close-mindedness" to anything new has inhibited out progress. 

While probably inaccurate, I do enjoy this chart, which shows my point:

My grandfather is afraid to use his computer, yet he has one of the most brilliant minds I've ever seen. His ability to understand mechanics, and his ability to look at the wider scope and create metaphors to relate his knowledge to the real world just floors me. But this intelligent and wise man is frightened by this new well of knowledge. He refuses to even tinker around with the machine - he is so set in his ways that he is denying himself what has grown to be the world at your fingertips. 

My Aunt is so set in what her perception of God is that she refuses to even consider another's opinion. She can brush it off as "satan trying to confuse her." She's hardly ever left her small home outside Piedmont, the town she grew up in. I am unsure if she's ever been outside of Missouri/Illinois. She's become content with her home inside a little town, and she has a wonderful life with her loving husband and tight-knit community, but she's denied herself the sights and sounds of the rest of the world. The wisdom contained out their in new lands is so immense. I am so thankful at my opportunity to go to school out of state. I can't imagine my life had my everything been Missouri. 

I have friends, pretty much all my friends, who are set in their Religion. They do not see the cage around them, even thought they built it themselves. They have the traditional mindset of "keeping in the community". They find the safety in being with only their own religious kin, and have built walls around themselves. Much as a famous writer lamented, (paraphrased) "I fear hell will not be thrust upon us. I fear that we will not have our free will taken forcefully. No, I fear that one day we will hand it over willingly in woven baskets. We will skip willfully to our own demise, humming a tune." The mormons have one particular "rule" (not that they see it as such) that has always bothered me. They can only marry in the Temple. The only ones allowed in their precious Temples are other LDS member.  And so, the only ones they can marry are other mormons. I see this as boundaries. As a limiting field that restricts and chokes it inhabitants. They see it as a liberating opportunity to be with they one they love "forever". Even though everyone goes to heaven regardless? I'm still trying to figure out their objection to civil marriages. An unfortunate wording seems to be the source of the problem. "Until death do we part" seems to mean the marriage is null and void in their minds I suppose. I try not to think about it too much. 

These "traditions" have limited and crushed many opportunities  to expand our mind and knowledge. We choke off so many routes and forks in the road, and take only the well worn, safe, and beaten path of life. Seen by many, with nothing left to be seen. 

I'm not accusing anyone of anything, nor do I expect anyone to change because of a late-night ramble from yours truly. I'm merely voicing my dissatisfaction with some things I've observed. Rushed marriages, rose-colored glasses, unwarranted guilt and religious bashing aside, I suppose I'm just making some notes for myself. But maybe someone will take something from this, and question their lifestyle. Maybe they'll take a chance they never thought they would. And maybe I'm just dreaming.

Maybe I should be dreaming. 

Good night. 

You Never Will Be

I think something I've always gleamed over while growing up was what I never will be when I am an adult. I'm slowly coming to terms with this realization. It's nothing devastating, it's more of a "coming to terms with reality".
I will never have a safety net large enough. Things happen, and there will be hard times. I understand that now. I used to think there was no reason I should ever have to live "uncomfortably" (i.e. hungry, without electricity, in a dumpy place) but I know now that it won't be "uncomfortable". It will just be trials. Much like Odysseus I will have to overcome hard times. But I don't need to think of them as some terrible misfortune. I should see them as challenges. And I accept.
I will never be sure. This is the biggest one. When I was little, adults always seemed so sure. It seemed like they just knew what was happening, and what was going to happen. Then our family began moving all over the midwest, and I watched my parents jump from job to job. And I got older, and tried to figure out what job I wanted. "Choose your career" always seemed the theme of the past 20 years. Choose what you will do for the rest of your life. But then I talked to adults. And my favorite response from those who I consider "settled" is "I'm still deciding what I want to be when I grow up". I went from vet, to artist, to animator, to movie director, to nurse, to vet again. And now I've realized. I will never be sure. I have to take that chance, and dive into something I love. And right now, all I know is I love animals, and so I'm putting my chances on becoming a veterinarian.
I will never be smart. I will always have knowledge, but I will always look back on my past self and think how  stupid I was. "Smart" is an infinite term, there is no cap on how "smart" someone can be - and because of that there will always be someone smarter. I have to settle with the fact that what I know now is my reality, and I will know more later, but it is unending. I can never declare "I know it all" because it's impossible to know it all. But I can certainly try.
And finally, life will never be "perfect". I remember visiting my cousin Karis not long after her first son was born. Every day she cleaned and cooked, and did yard work and other chores, alongside caring for her child. She made the off hand comment, "there will always be work to do." My mom says the same thing. "[Housework is] unending!" I think about the kind of home I want one day, and my job, and everything I want in my ultimate goal. But I know now, I will never reach the point where everything I have is "perfect". Because there will always be something I want, or need, or needs done. When my life reaches my goal, it will never be "goal accomplished" and stays that way indefinitely. Some of the best advice I've gotten is "always have a goal". The idea is never to have a final cap that you reach. You never want to reach that point where you say "Now what?". You must keep working towards something to keep yourself fulfilled. The good news is, there's so much to do in the world that you could fill ten lifetimes of goals with them if you wanted.
So to sum it up, nothing is set in stone. You have to be flexible to be happy in your life, and always be working to make yourself better. Take risks, and have fun along the way. You only get one life time to do what you want. There's nothing better than now, and "no day but today". So enjoy yourself.

Working for the Weekend

I just stayed up all night (it's 6:10 AM) being responsible. To an extent. I did a little research in to what other kiddies (I've watched too much Tales from the Crypt, I tell ya) my age have in savings. It ranged anywhere from thousands of dollars in debt to spoiled rotten with 50k in the bank. But the general consensus was try to have anywhere from $1-$2k in the bank if you can help it, but focus on your school work! Most people were laughing at the thought of a 20 year old having a savings to begin with.
They were also lamenting their lack of funds.
Then I applied to about 6 more jobs back in Idaho (on top of the mountain of teachers I emailed, and my application already in to Wally World), and hopefully I'll hear back from one eventually. Not working this break has kicked my ass.
I found a great personal finance excel spreadsheet, so I nabbed that. I don't need it at to moment because I'm not exactly... earning money. But it'll come in handy down the line.
Then I spent many many hours searching for an apartment in or around Fort Collins, CO. Again. The goal is to find a cheap, pet friendly apartment. And I mean cheap. And I think I've finally succeeded. This place is about a half hour away from the campus, which is a little further than what I'd like, but in any case, the rent is a wonderful $375/month. Granted, it's a studio apartment no larger than my bedroom in MO, and rent does not cover electricity, but otherwise it's a rather great place. It's literally down the street from the grocery store, mall, and other key places - and it's in a nice neighborhood. The major holding-my-breath-til-I-know stipulation is the pet policy. They didn't post it anywhere, so I'll have to call them if I want to know.
Would it be odd to call an apartment complex with questions almost two years before you'd ever even move in? Hm..
After my apartment hunt, I decided to idly browse vehicles people were selling in CO. I found the Pizza Planet truck, so yeah I was mostly just messing around.
I wish I had been able to work up a larger savings. I feel like I have nothing, especially considering the larger scope of things. But I suppose I will have to manage, and hopefully be able to work something up in the next year and a half. At least enough to get me started and out on my own.
Here's hoping.