Motorcycles

Some things you probably didn’t know about motorcycles.

Motorcycles are seen as fun, death-defying vehicles only a select few seem to have the kahunas (or as some like to assert, the mere ability) to operate. But there’s a lot of misconceptions and downright ignorance that comes with people’s perceptions of motorcyclists and their rides.

One such thing is: riding a motorcycle on a hot day is nothing like riding a convertible. Imagine its stifling hot outside and you hop in your car with the roof folded down and a/c turned on. Between the wind and the cold air from the vents, it’s pleasant and a fun way to cool off (and look cool too). Now imagine jumping on a motorcycle. You wear a helmet because, hey, you’re a responsible driver (and you can’t trust other people on the road anyway) and you take off. The hot air seems to just push against you, rather than pulling off sweat. And each time you stop the motorcycle beneath you radiates heat from the seat because most motorcycles don’t actually have a fan to cool off the engine. Your bike depends on being in motion to cool down. By the end of the ride the inside of your helmet is sticky from sweat, your butt feels roasted, and you feel like you just have a fever in general. It’s not really a good way to cool off, in retrospect.

Another problem motorcyclists face is our rearview mirrors. Those stupid things can rotate just about anywhere (as they are mounted on a ball and socket type joint) and getting them juuuust right is a headache. I’m often trying to adjust them either while riding or when stopped (as I only have one hand free during each activity) and even if I get them right they get bumped later that day and need to be fixed again. I would adjust them before I ride, but having a sport bike I tend to be in a different position when I’m just sitting on my bike than when I’m in motion. And let’s say I’m lucky and actually do have them in the right place – I still can’t see behind me unless I move my elbows.

So normally I just trust my eyes over my mirrors, and swivel my head around like a top. I don’t have any windows or frames to look past, so it’s actually pretty darn effective.

Another thing that drives me crazy is people don’t seem to realize the traction I have with the road is maybe two inches wide. If I need to slam on my brakes, it’s going to take me just as long, if not longer, than a car to actually get stopped. I also have a process I must complete before I can ever even apply the brake. Pull clutch, let go of throttle, and then pull both the hand and push the foot brakes. And then normally either my front or back wheel will start to snake. It’s scary, and I don’t like doing it. So stop cutting me off, cages.

The lack of traction also means I can’t handle gravel. At all. There’s a parking lot at a building off-campus that is completely gravel, and every time I’m on it (normally going an astounding 5 mph, the minimum I can achieve without toppling over) I still skid around like ice on ice.

But a cool part about being a motorcyclist is the camaraderie. Bikers will wave to each other in passing. It’s not like a normal hand in the air and frantically whipping our wrist around. The “wave” is more of a flag where you stick your arm, or finger, out straight while passing the other rider on the road. It’s always the left arm, and we don’t wave perpetually at each other. It’s really a rather short process. I’m not turning, or merging, or being a dick. But it confuses the living hell out of cages, and I find it hilarious.

As a side note: just because you and I are both at the stoplight does not automatically mean I want to race you. I know I can win, which is enough for me, considering I’m on a bright green motorcycle and the cops in town are ticket-happy. So save yourself the fine, because I’m not going to gun it off the line because you revved your engine. This is why I don’t look over at you. And when I salute you, it’s not a “hat’s off” signal. It is a “enjoy the speeding ticket” signal. And trust me; every time someone has tried to race me, they get pulled over. Just don’t do it.

And this is call of attention to those who actually have bikes (or would consider getting one): wear your helmet, and don’t leave it out on your bike. UV rays from the sun will destroy the foam in your helmet, and I can’t count how many people I’ve heard of that crash and realize they’ve been wearing nothing but an eggshell on their head (this is also a very good reason to never buy a used helmet). And it is inevitable that you will crash, so just wear the god damn thing. It’s not even a big deal. If you think it’s too hot outside to wear it, then you don’t need to be riding anyway.